*This post is NOT looking for sympathy! Haha*
I want to be completely honest with everyone who reads this blog, because I owe i it to you all for reading my blog to be honest! So today I want to talk about something in my life that's probably in a lot of other peoples too, and its bloomin' annoying, so here it is...
All my life I have had this weird thing that makes sleeping really hard, I lie awake for hours with things buzzing round my head, like scary things, horror film kind of scary. I have the most vivid imagination ever and as much as that's a great thing in the day, at night its a completely different story.
Basically I go to sleep and 5 nights out of 10 I can sleep perfectly fine, but for the next five nights I just cant sleep. This can be for many reasons like;
1. What I would consider as normal reasons...
Not tired, worried about the next day or hearing noises in the house, but it gets excessive, like my ears are tuned in to every single creak in the house and each one gives me a minor heart attack.You know when you friend creeps up on you and shouts 'BOO!' at you and you jump a mile and get a shock in your stomach? I get that with a tiny noise. It sounds stupid I know, but surely I cant be the only one with this problem? And then there is the whole problem of the nerves of 'if I cant sleep now, what will happen in the morning?' and 'oh god I need to sleep NOW'. All of this worrying makes me think way too much and these thoughts make me super nervous. Sometimes giving me butterflies and sometimes even spiraling into what feels like a panic attack, however don't quote me on that, I don't know for sure. I just get really heavy breathing and cry and feel like the whole world is caving in on me. These kind of excessive but normal worries probably make up half of the cant sleep nights, the other half is made up of are basically...
2. Scary reasons
It sounds ridiculous but absolutely ANYTHING that I see in the day, will come back to haunt me at night. I can see a advertisement for the woman in black and I can guarantee my mind will create a whole world of women in black. And now after thinking about it, I probably will tonight! GREAAATTTT... I see any creepy things you can think of honestly its like my mind is Alfred Hitchcock every night! This honestly scares me so much and I just cant sleep! Damn it, It sucks to be honest because on these kind of nights I get from 6 to 3 hours sleep, this may sound a lot to some of you but to me, its nothing! Also, I am basically scared of going to bed, so I put it off, which makes everything worse and then I go to bed and the whole process starts again!
So yeah, I'm extremely jumpy and cant sleep very well, but the thing is, once I sleep, I really sleep, and nothing can wake me up! I am an extremely deep sleeper but the problem is getting to sleep in the first place! That's why i;m thinking it cant be insomnia, because I thought that that meant waking up constantly throughout the night? I'm not sure. If any of you have any sleep related posts please link them below!
Am I the only one? It would be nice to hear all of your opinions on this and if im the only one with the crazy jumpyness!
Sorry for the rambly post, I just wanted to get it all of my chest!
Thanks so much for reading lovelies!
